Escape to Paradise: Horizon Beach Hotel, Crete's Hidden Gem
Escape to Paradise: Horizon Beach Hotel, Crete – My Cranky Sunshine Review! (Spoiler: Mostly Good!)
Okay, folks, listen up. I've just clawed my way back from the Horizon Beach Hotel in Crete, and I'm still battling the jet lag and the urge to eat all the spanakopita. This place is… well, it's a journey. And I'm here to spill the (metaphorical) beans, warts and all, because let's be honest, no paradise is perfect.
Metadata & SEO Blitz Before We Begin (Because Apparently That's Important Now!):
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- Meta Description: Unfiltered review of Horizon Beach Hotel in Crete: Is it a hidden gem? Find out about accessibility, food, spa, and everything in between! My honest, quirky, and slightly chaotic take on this Cretan escape.
Alright, Let's Dive In… (Deep Breath)
First Impressions: Okay, the website photos? Slightly too perfect. Think pristine white walls, impossibly blue water, and smiling people who clearly don’t have to deal with screaming toddlers at 7 AM. But the reality? Pretty darn good. The hotel does have an undeniably stunning view. The first thing I did was plop on the terrace and just… breathe. (Okay, and maybe take a selfie. Don't judge me.)
Accessibility: Now, this is crucial for me, and I'm happy to report… mostly good news! Wheelchair accessible? YES! Elevators everywhere, ramps galore, and even the walkways to the beach are manageable. This is a huge plus. Facilities for disabled guests are definitely catered for. However, I did notice a slight blip. The door to my room -- a standard "non-smoking" one, which was fine by me -- was a little heavy. Not a dealbreaker, but something to consider. And, frankly, after a night of feasting on too much delicious Greek food, even a healthy person would find it a struggle. (More on the food later, believe me.)
Rooms: My Tiny Kingdom!
My room was Air conditioned (thank GODS), and had everything you could want. There was an Alarm clock, which I promptly ignored because sleep is precious, the Bathrobes were fluffy enough to disappear into, and a Coffee/tea maker. I mean, I basically lived off the Complimentary tea and the ridiculously strong Greek coffee I bought in the lobby shop. The desk was perfect for catching up on emails (or pretending to, while I just stared out the window). The free bottled water was an absolute lifesaver, especially after a few too many cocktails at the pool bar. Linens were pristine, and the extra long bed? Heaven. I could stretch out like a starfish and not worry about falling off the edge! A perfect room.
I did have a minor issue here - I spent a few minutes looking for the scale. This is a must. I later located it in the bathroom, hidden behind the door (probably not wanting to face the reality of my holiday indulgences).
Internet Access (Or, The Saga of the Wi-Fi):
This is where things get… interesting. The hotel boasts Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! and technically, that's true. BUT… it’s not always reliably true. In my room, it was a bit of a hit-or-miss situation. Sometimes lightning-fast, sometimes I had to practically stand on my head to get a signal. The Internet access – LAN cable was a lifesaver (thank you, early internet!), but the Wi-Fi in public areas was generally a safer bet. The occasional dropouts added an element of… adventure to my online life, let's say. But hey, at least it gave me an excuse to unplug and actually look at the view, right? (That’s what I told myself, anyway.)
Things To Do / Ways To Relax (The Good Stuff!)
Oh boy, where do I begin? This is where the Horizon Beach Hotel really shines. Let's start with the Pool with view. Absolutely stunning. That turquoise water is calling your name. There is also a Swimming pool [outdoor]. Both were immaculately clean and beautifully maintained.
The Spa/sauna. Okay, this one deserves its own paragraph. I think I've found my happy place. I treated myself to a massage (divine!), a body scrub (exfoliated away all my stresses), and a session in the steamroom. The sauna was also there, of course. The facilities were clean, quiet, and oh-so-relaxing. I practically melted into a puddle of bliss. It was worth the cost. Consider it a core memory.
The Fitness center was well-equipped, but I’m afraid I spent more time looking at it than using it. Hey, vacations are for relaxing, right?
Dining, Drinking & Snacking (The Heart of the Matter!)
The food… oh, the food. This is where the Horizon Beach Hotel truly earns its stars.
- Restaurants: Several!
- Buffet in restaurant: Breakfast was glorious.
- A la carte in restaurant: Dinner was excellent.
- Poolside bar: Perfect for cocktails.
- Snack bar: Always a quick bite available.
The Breakfast [buffet] was an absolute feast. An Asian breakfast and Asian cuisine in restaurant, if you're feeling adventurous. The Western breakfast was also plentiful. I, of course, filled a plate with the fresh fruit, the crispy bacon, the delicious Greek yogurt, and… EVERYTHING. They even had a Coffee/tea in restaurant! I ate like a king (or, you know, a slightly stressed tourist). The staff were friendly and helpful, always topping up my coffee.
The A la carte in restaurant meals were divine. One night, I had the most incredible grilled octopus, and another night, the lamb kleftiko. The desserts in restaurant were also… memorable. (Let's just say I ordered a second slice of baklava.) Honestly, the food was a highlight. The Vegetarian restaurant was good, too. And yes, there were salad in restaurant options for the health-conscious among us (though I may have skipped those a few times). The bottle of water was a constant companion.
Cleanliness & Safety (Because THAT Matters!)
This is the post-pandemic world, right? I was impressed with the Horizon Beach Hotel's commitment to cleanliness. Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer stations everywhere, and the staff were clearly trained in safety protocol. They even had Anti-viral cleaning products. I felt safe and secure. The Safe dining setup was evident. The Rooms sanitized between stays. It was reassuring to see, and, honestly, it allowed me to just relax and enjoy myself.
Services and Conveniences (The Perks!)
The Horizon Beach Hotel offers a plethora of services. Daily housekeeping was efficient and unobtrusive. Air conditioning in public area was a lifesaver. There was a concierge who was helpful. Cash withdrawal was possible. I felt like I was in a place where anything I needed could be arranged.
For the Kids (If You Must)
I don't have kids, but I saw plenty of families, and they seemed to be having a blast, especially the smaller ones. There were definitely Kids facilities and a Babysitting service available, and the hotel is generally very Family/child friendly.
Getting Around (And Where to Actually Get To!)
Airport transfer: Seamless. Highly recommended! Car park [on-site]: Free and easy.
The Negatives (Because I'm Honest!):
- Wi-Fi Woes: Mentioned above, but worth repeating.
- Minor Hiccups: The occasional slow service in the main restaurant during peak hours, but nothing major.
Overall Verdict:
Would I go back to the Horizon Beach Hotel? Absolutely, 100%! It's a fantastic choice for anyone looking for a relaxing, accessible, and delicious holiday in Crete. With a few minor improvements (Wi-Fi, slightly easier room access), it would be absolutely perfect. Go. Eat. Relax. And tell them I sent you!
Final Score: 4.5 out of 5 stars. Highly recommended. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go dream about that baklava… (and maybe look up some more spanakopita recipes).
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Okay, buckle up, buttercups. This isn't your meticulously planned, sterile travel brochure itinerary. This is life in Crete, baby, served up Horizon Beach Hotel style, with all the sunburns, existential crises, and questionable food choices that entails. Consider this your messy, emotionally-charged, and utterly human guide.
Horizon Beach Hotel, Crete: A Week of Hot Mess
Day 1: Arrival and Mild Panic
- 10:00 AM: Touchdown at Heraklion Airport. Jesus Christ, the heat. Already sweating, already questioning all my life choices that led me here. Should have packed more deodorant. And perhaps, a therapist. (Just kidding…mostly.) Quick shuttle to the hotel. The driver is blasting some Greek pop song I can't understand, but the vibe is good. Or at least, it's a vibe.
- 11:00 AM: Horizon Beach Hotel. It's… well, it's big. And slightly dated. The lobby smells faintly of chlorine and what I think is bougainvillea. Check in! (Success!) The receptionist, bless her heart, gives me a key that's bigger than my fist. Is this how they test your strength?
- 11:30 AM: The Room. Okay, it's decent. The balcony! Oh, the balcony overlooks the sea. Instant catharsis. I plop down on the little wicker chair, take a deep breath, and feel…underwhelmed. There's a tiny, suspicious stain on the carpet. Whatever. Ocean view wins!
- 12:00 PM: Lunch at the hotel buffet. Okay, here's where things get messy. I approach the buffet. So many options. Too many options. My brain short circuits. I end up with a plate of lukewarm potatoes, some questionable "Greek salad" that's mostly iceberg lettuce, and a tiny, sad piece of grilled…something. Didn't taste great. Feeling a bit deflated tbh.
- 2:00 PM: Beach time! Yes! Sun, sand, relaxation, the works. Except… the sun is relentless. I forgot sunscreen. I start to burn within 10 minutes. I'm not even at the beach, I'm getting a sunburn just by walking towards it. This is going to be an adventure.
- 4:00 PM: Back in the room, slathering myself in aloe vera. The sting! Ugh. I'm seriously considering never leaving my room again.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at the hotel. The buffet again. This time, I’m wiser! I load up on what appear to be meatballs and some sort of bread that actually tastes pretty good. The wine is… well, cheap. But it does the trick. There’s a live band playing cheesy covers of 80s hits. I sing along, badly. This is getting better, somehow.
- 9:00 PM: Early night. Exhausted. Sunburned. Slightly tipsy. Looking forward to tomorrow…or not?
Day 2: Chasing Sunsets and Existential Dread
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast. Eggs? Yes! Sausage? Maybe. The coffee is strong, like a slap in the face. Just what I need. Ready for the day.
- 10:00 AM: Exploring the hotel grounds, a little. The pool is inviting, but I'm still recovering from yesterday's solar assault. I find a shady spot under a palm tree. It's hot.
- 11:00 AM: More beach time, armed with SPF 50 this time. The water is clear and beautiful. I manage to wade in. Feels good.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch. Back to the buffet. I see a familiar face. (Me). Eating the same thing I ate yesterday… but enjoying it a little more. I find a new dish. I get a little brave and try it. It’s a weird kind of bean with a weird sauce. Still no idea.
- 3:00 PM: A trip to the local town, this is my first dip outside of the hotel! A bus, a hot and sweaty ride, and a surprisingly charming village later. The shops are filled with tourist tat, it’s like a postcard cliché in physical form. But I get a gorgeous, silk scarf that's perfect. Also found a little cafe with the best coffee, possibly ever.
- 6:00 PM: The famous Cretan sunset. I find a cliffside bar, order a cocktail (slightly overpriced, but who cares), and watch the sun melt into the sea. It's spectacularly beautiful. Really. It almost makes me forget about the looming existential dread that seems to follow me everywhere. Almost.
- 8:00 PM: Dinner at a taverna in the town. Authentic Greek food! Grilled octopus. I’ll be honest, I was a little squeamish at first, but it's delicious! Best meal so far! Maybe Crete will be okay after all.
- 10:00 PM: Bed. Content, for once.
Day 3: Adventure! (Maybe?)
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast, with a renewed sense of optimism.
- 9:00 AM: The hotel offers excursions! I sign up for a boat trip to Spinalonga Island. Because, you know, adventure! Which hopefully doesn't involve seasickness.
- 10:00 AM: The boat trip. The water is choppy. I start to feel queasy. I start panicking. The island is interesting, but I spend most of the time trying not to throw up. I succeed! Barely.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch on a different island! A taverna again, full of delicious fish. My appetite is back. I eat everything.
- 3:00 PM: Back to the hotel. Exhausted. And smelling faintly of fish.
- 4:00 PM: I plop down on the balcony, and just look at the sea.
- 6:00 PM: Happy hour at the hotel bar. A few cocktails. My mood improves dramatically.
- 8:00 PM: Dinner. Again, buffet. Chicken, potatoes, and the damn bean sauce is still there. I don't know why I keep going back.
- 10:00 PM: Sleep.
Day 4: Doubling Down: The All-Inclusive Hellscape (And Maybe Heaven?)
Okay. So, I have a confession to make. This is the day I really embraced the… allure… of the all-inclusive life. This is when things got gloriously messy.
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast. Back to the buffet. This is a ritual now. Not a good one.
- 10:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Poolside. I’m strategically positioned. I order a drink: a fruity concoction that tastes suspiciously like cough syrup. I get another. And another. I read my book. Someone yells. I briefly try watersports, but, the sun is beating down, and I’m not entirely sure I can keep my balance.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch. The same lukewarm potatoes and the same mysterious “salad.” But I don't even care. I'm fueled by fruity cocktails and a general sense of blissful apathy.
- 1:00 PM: I accidentally start chatting with a group of people who appear to be on a very important mission: to consume every single type of alcohol available at the all-inclusive bar. They invite me to join. I accept.
- 1:30 PM - 4:00 PM: The afternoon descends into a blur of questionable cocktails, terrible jokes, and increasingly loud singalongs. We explore the hotel. We eat…I couldn’t tell you what. Someone falls in the pool. I find myself playing beer pong with a bunch of children. I barely remember any of this.
- 5:00 PM: I wake up. I. Have. A. Headache. An enormous one. I stumble back to my room. I’m vaguely ashamed. And also, incredibly confused. Did I just… embrace the all-inclusive embrace?
- 6:00 PM: The hotel pool. So beautiful at sunset.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner. The same buffet. I avoid the bean sauce. Focus on the bread. And drink water.
- 8:00 PM: I decide to go to the lobby bar. I order water. And admire the sea. I drink more water.
- 10:00 PM: Sleep. Praying for tomorrow to be better.
Day 5: Recovery and Reflection (Maybe)
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast. The sun looks like a threat. I order coffee. And eat a plain croissant. The nausea lingers.
- 10:00 AM: Quiet morning. A walk on the beach. The waves.
- 11:00 AM: Back in my room, I binge-watch Netflix. A documentary about something…I don’t know. Something serious
